Apex Centon: Someone Like You
by Les Missedyercalls
Summary: I walked around behind Randy and he didn't move until I had already passed him. He put his arms around my hips and stopped me mid-step. He spread his hands across my stomach and I could feel his hot breath against the back of my neck. He held me strongly against him, almost like he was afraid I would fall away. "John," he breathed, like my name gave him a deep sense of pleasure.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This is a re-telling of an original unfinished story I wrote about a year ago titled: I Won't Tell 'Em Your Name. The original story took place just after John filed for divorce from Liz, and since so much has happened since then, it made more sense to simply do a re-write with elements of the original. The story is primarily Centon, and features scenes with Cena/Nikki/Randy.

It is rated M for Centon/Slash and some graphic content, including violence, language, sexuality and self-destructive behaviors such as drug use and self-mutilation that some readers may find disturbing. It is intended for adult readers.

I don't claim to own any rights to WWE or its affiliates. This story is entirely fictional and for entertainment purposes only.

1:

"My name...is Randy Orton."

I could hear the audience roaring from the Flatscreen through my surround-sound speakers. Fans loved it when Randy re-introduced himself. I found it oddly hysterical.

"You look kinda lame on my Flatscreen. Your face is all long and you look like a meathead," I told Randy on my cell phone while I sat back and watched the pre-recorded episode of Smackdown.

"What do you know, Cena? You look like Frankenstein with that ugly box-head of yours on my Flatscreen!" Randy chuckled.

"Actually, I do have a box head," I agreed, making Randy laugh out loud.

"So, are you still in Tampa?" Randy asked about my schedule.

My divorce from Liz had already been finalized, but sorting through all the his-and-hers was an ongoing struggle. Every time I thought we were done, her lawyers would send me more paperwork asking for more possessions. Even Randy sounded worried as he asked, "Are you still sorting through shit?"

"The perks of being married," I remarked.

Randy snorted and replied, "I just let Sam keep most everything. I don't know most of what the fuck we've bought!"

"You've never been much of a materialistic person," I mentioned.

Randy continued to joke dryly, "She didn't get my Godfather Collection, if that's what you're hinting at."

I chuckled and we both went quiet. Randy had also just finalized his divorce from Sam, but their parting of ways was on much better terms than mine. Elizabeth had accused me of cheating and tried a million different ways to make my life as miserable as possible for leaving her, but what she didn't understand was that my distance from her wasn't because of another girl. In the last several months, Randy had become the only person I could lean on for support and understanding during the roughest time of my life. I could hardly admit it to myself, but I had developed feelings for him that went beyond friendship.

The connection between us was never an instant one. In fact, we hated each other while working together on OVW, and when I heard he got contracted before me, I wanted to cut his nut sack off because I didn't think he deserved the shot. For those first few years after I got contracted as well, I thought of Randy Orton as nothing more than a Grade-A asshole, and he only got worse when he started hanging out with Dave Bautista.

Randy and I are basically opposites. Maybe that's why we ended up attracting to each other. He was the bad boy; the perfect villain to my superhero ways. We fought for years. He trashed my stuff, and I complained to McMahon to get his ass fired. He'd try to put me on the injured list, so I'd rig his trailer so he wouldn't get to the next arena on time. When his daughter Alanna came along, I thought he would finally have some balance, but I didn't expect him to change as much as he did. He became a father and a family man. He became the Randy no one expected to ever see.

He remodeled himself to be her knight in shining armor. The more time I spent with him, the more I saw a side of Randy that few people knew. We started bonding once new roster members began appearing and our generation of members dwindled. I saw his working marriage to Sam and I wanted the same for Elizabeth and I. He gave me advice and he seemed to want things to work out for me. As we became closer, I noticed that it got harder to spend any time away from him. Once he was traded to Smackdown, I saw him less and less, but the need to be near him only grew stronger.

Late night cell phone calls had become one of our only sources of contact. Randy was there for me when I lost to The Rock at WrestleMania 28, and he was there again when I went through one of the most brutal matches of my life against Brock Lesnar. I was losing matches and being hassled by management for not keeping up the Good Ole' Boy image. My marriage was over, my job was in jeopardy, and the only constant was Randy.

I never wanted to sabotage his seemingly perfect life, so I ignored my feelings for him and just tried to deal with all the other shit. It came as a complete and utter surprise when he called me up a month ago to to tell me that his divorce from Sam was going to be finalized soon. I must admit, a part of me wanted so badly for my opportunity to come up, but an even bigger part of me felt guilty as sin for even thinking of Randy's divorce as a means to tell him how I really felt.

"I should stop by and hang out for a few days," Randy mentioned.

"Don't do that! You have some time off for the next couple of weeks! Just relax and enjoy yourself!" I told him.

"Yeah, I'll enjoy myself," Randy joked.

The image of Randy playing with himself popped into my mind, and I couldn't help being highly aroused by it.

"That was a joke, John," Randy mentioned when I didn't speak up for a while.

"Oh, yeah, I know...uh...anyway, Nikki's supposed to come by so they can tape more episodes for the reality show," I added quickly.

Total Divas had just premiered on the E! network, and so far, we were getting a strong response. Trouble was, the fans weren't convinced that I was really dating Nikki Bella, and they were right—it was all scripted for the show. Nikki was actually into me and wanted to date for real, but my interests were somewhere else.

"That shit is pointless! If people wanna know what John Cena's doing between wrestling matches, they just need to check the local bars!" Randy argued.

"Shut the fuck up! I don't drink_ that _much!" I chuckled.

"You should take a dump on camera. That'll get rid of your pretty boy image," Randy stated.

"That's nice. Very thoughtful. I'll run it by Nikki," I said sarcastically.

Randy continued to tease me, "Maybe they should have your voice dubbed over with mine. I have that monotone that'll put the viewers to sleep."

"What? Your voice is sexy!" I blurted out.

There was a moment of silence from the other end, then Randy let out a low chuckle. I tried to laugh it off as well, but it was so awkward that I finally said, "Look, I gotta go. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"You're wasting my not-unlimited-unlimited cell phone plan with your long-ass calls, Cena!" Randy shouted.

"Then buy some more minutes! I have things that need to be said!" I argued jokingly.

I wanted Randy to keep the joke going, but as always, he cut me off at the last second when he said simply, "Whatever," and abruptly hung up.

I turned off my phone for the night and quietly made my way upstairs. The house was dark except for the moonlight coming in through the windows and I was so rarely home that the layout sometimes felt like walking through a giant maze. I peeked into the master bedroom out of habit, thinking I would see Liz sleeping on her side of the bed. It took me a few seconds to remember that she wasn't there, and I felt kind of annoyed that such a simple thing could so easily throw me off.

God, I was horny. Talking to Randy hadn't helped matters any, and I had to fight the urge to turn my phone back on and call him up, again. I cursed under my breath for telling him to stay home during his vacation. As I climbed into bed, I even considered calling him up the next day with some great excuse as to why he should stop by.

_I had it for him so bad, it was starting to make me stupid._

* * *

_I dreamed that I was making love to Liz like old times. Her body felt warm and caked in sweat underneath me. Her fingernails roughly raked across my shoulders. I knew what it felt like to be inside of her, yet this time, she felt tight and restrictive to the point where it was getting uncomfortable._

"_John," she moaned my name and smiled._

_Her voice distracted me. I slowed down for a second and asked, "Am I hurting you?"_

_She didn't answer me. I asked her again, "Are you in pain?"_

_She rolled her eyes and began arguing, "Do you really think it would work between you and Randy?"_

"_What?" I stopped and stared at her._

_Her head rolled back and she began laughing maniacally. I pulled out of her and rushed to get to my feet. When I turned back to face the bed, Liz was gone._

"_She's right, you know," Randy said from behind me._

_I turned around to find him standing in the doorway. He was completely naked and he was breathing heavily like he had just finished an athletic round of sex. He slowly made his way over to the other side of the bed and pulled back the covers to reveal Liz lying there once more. She was humming like she always did when I gave her a strong orgasm._

_Except that this time, I knew I wasn't the one who gave it to her._

_I locked eyes with Randy and asked angrily, "Did you fuck my wife?"_

_He shot me a wicked half-smile and corrected, "Ex-wife, Cena. That means all's fair."_

I slowly opened my eyes. The dream was so vivid that every detail stuck with me as I blinked a few times and tried to remember where I truly was. I could see the morning sunlight beaming in and I checked the clock to make sure it was already time to get up.

I managed to get back to my feet and I turned on my cell phone. A few texts popped up from Nikki, and I remembered that she was stopping by to tape scenes for the reality show.

I put my phone down and started for the bathroom when I heard the voicemail ringtone chime once. I ignored it, thinking that Nikki had probably called after I didn't respond to her texts to let me know she was on her way. I figured I had time to shower, so it startled me when I heard the front doorbell ring almost as soon as I walked back into the bathroom.

"She can't be here, already," I mumbled to myself as I made my way downstairs.

The doorbell rang once more and I checked the monitor on the far wall. My eyes almost popped out of their sockets when I realized that it wasn't Nikki standing at the door.

_It was Randy._

I practically ran to the door and swung it open to greet him. Randy wasn't shy when it came to hugging, so I laid one on him, but I was surprised when he held onto me and kept the hug going for well over a minute.

We slowly pulled away from each other and I looked into his eyes. They were red and swollen like he had been crying, and I felt it even before I asked, "What's wrong?"

"Sam and Alanna were...in a car accident last night. They're both gone," Randy told me in a detached voice.

"Oh, God! Oh my fucking God!" I yelled, squinting my eyes shut like I could somehow open them and this would all be a dream.

_Please be another fucking dream._


	2. Chapter 2

2:

The funeral was harder than I thought it would be to attend. There were tons of people I had never met, and although I tried to stay close to Randy, people kept pulling him aside to talk to him. It was the first time in a long time where I was in a packed room and it wasn't for an autograph signing.

Being at a funeral was like being in a slow-moving film where everyone else seems to have memorized their lines and they know exactly where to go and what to do. I was just standing there, trying to look supportive and caring, but I was twice the size of every guy there and the elderly folks kept giving me startled looks like they thought I was going to rob them.

Randy didn't say much to me until we were on the road back to my house in Tampa. We were between cities and he had mostly been staring out the passenger's side window when he suddenly turned to me and asked, "What do you remember about Alanna?"

A recent memory popped into my mind and I chuckled as I replied, "I remember I stopped by your house before WrestleMania 28. She showed me a poster of me and The Rock on her wall. She had poked holes in The Rock's face and she told me, 'Dat Rock is a bad man!'"

Randy laughed for the first time since he told me the news about Sam and Alanna's deaths two weeks ago. I quickly pointed out, "I do believe she also had a Randy Orton action figure on her shelf that happened to be towering over the John Cena action figure. It looked quite unrealistic to me."

I imitated Alanna's look and wagged my finger in the air just like she had done that day. Randy made a short chuckle and I thought he would start in on me like he always did, but he went quiet, again. I decided to leave it at that and continued down the road, hoping that he would ask for another memory.

But he didn't.

* * *

As soon as we got back to my house, Randy went upstairs to the guest room where he was staying. I went to the kitchen to fix a meal, thinking that Randy needed some time alone. I was sitting on a stool at the kitchen island in the middle of a sub sandwich when Randy suddenly walked in, looking showered and wearing only a pair of running pants, and took a seat next to me.

He grabbed my arm and examined the bulge on my elbow. I had torn a muscle in my arm during a match almost a week ago, and it had since swollen up to the size of a baseball. I had hidden with my suit jacket during the funeral to keep from being a distraction. Randy looked it over from several angles before he finally said, "You should have surgery as soon as possible."

"Yes, Doctor," I nodded firmly.

Randy stayed serious as he told me, "It looks bad. You should take some time off."

I shot him a sideways glance. He was well aware that I was asked by WWE Management to take at least four-to-sixth months off due to the injury. I couldn't help arguing with him, "You already know I have to have surgery and take time off! Why are you bringing it up like this?"

He shrugged and grabbed my sub sandwich. He parted his lips and slowly widened his mouth, imitating the mannerisms of a snake about to swallow its prey whole. It was actually kinda hot, and I couldn't help staring at him as he took a huge chunk out of my sub and took his time chewing. I could see the sub bulging out of one side of his cheek, like it was a piece of tobacco and Randy was trying to decide whether he should spit it out or swallow it.

"You disgust me," I said dryly.

I pretened to be put-off by his antics as I got up to leave. I walked around behind Randy and he didn't move until I had already passed him. He put his arms around my hips and stopped me mid-step. He spread his hands across my stomach and I could feel his hot breath against the back of my neck.

I waited, thinking he was either about to start sobbing from grief or he was going to perform some kind of wrestling move on me. He did neither, but held me strongly against him, almost like he was afraid I would fall away. I tried to turn my head to one side to see him better as I asked, "Randy, what's wrong?"

He didn't answer me. All he said was, "Don't move."

"Okay," I replied, waiting quietly until he was ready to let me go, again.

He stood frozen behind me for several minutes, then I felt his lips press against the back of my head. I closed my eyes and believed for a moment that he might actually be kissing me, but his lips moved away and were replaced by his forehead as I heard him start to cry.

His hands were still against my abdomen, so I put my hands over the tops of his and whispered, "It's okay, Randy. Just let it out."

Randy stopped as soon as he heard me, and I wondered if I should've kept quiet. He suddenly pressed his lips to my left ear and stated thickly, "I have to tell you something."

"What?" I asked.

He held me a second longer, then he abruptly pulled away and started for the front door. I called for him, "Randy? Randy, where the fuck are you going?"

Randy opened the door and took off running as soon as he made it outside. I chased after him until the end of the block, then I stopped when I considered that he was in a pair of running pants and probably needed to take a jog to blow off some steam.

_I knew it was completely the wrong time and place for it, but I really thought he was about to tell me he loved me._

* * *

Randy didn't come back home until after midnight. I was still up and catching up on TV shows when I heard his heavy footsteps going up the stairs. I paused the show and went out to check on him, and the first thing I noticed was that his nose was broken.

"Shit, Randy!" I argued when I looked him over and realized his face was all bloodied and he was drenched in beer.

His running pants were hardly staying on and he was on the verge of going buck naked as he said drunkenly, "I'm fuh-ine," and turned off for his room.

I went to the bathroom and grabbed a hand towel. I soaked it in water and grabbed another dry one before making my way back to Randy. He had kicked his running pants onto the floor and I nearly tripped over them. Randy was lying naked in bed and although the bedroom lights were off, he turned on the TV just as I walked in and I was able to see him in all his glory.

I had seen Randy naked, before. We had changed in the locker room together a million and one times. This time was different. _He_ looked different. I felt like I was looking at him in a way that I shouldn't, so I tried to focus only on his broken nose.

Randy was on the side of the bed that was against the wall, so I had to climb in on the other side and crawl my way over to him. He didn't seem to notice me until I got close enough to start cleaning the blood off of his face, then Randy tried to swat me away as he yelled angrily, "Get the fuck outta my bed, bitch!"

"You call me bitch again, and I'll make sure your nose stays broken," I shot back.

"Fuck you," he growled.

"Fine," I tossed the wet towel over his face and got up to leave.

I went back to my room and climbed into bed. I pushed play and my show resumed from where it left off. I didn't plan on seeing Randy again that night, but a few minutes later, he was standing in my doorway looking cleaned up with the wet hand towel rolled up and draped across the back of his neck.

"Going for one of those ass-in-the-moonlight shots?" I joked about the fact that he was still naked.

He made this snort that was almost a chuckle, then he stumbled over to my bed. He could've easily come up to where I was, but instead, he took the other side and practically imitated what I had done in his bed as he climbed in and crawled his way over to me. I knew he was teasing me, so I teased him right back by imitating his voice and yelling, "Get the fuck outta my bed, bitch!"

Randy busted out laughing, and he was so loud, it startled me a little bit. He laughed for a little while before he collapsed on his stomach at an angle and rested his head against my abdomen so he could face the TV. He asked after a few minutes of silence, "What the fuck are you watching?"

"Downton Abbey," I answered.

"Does anything get blown up on this show?" Randy asked gruffly.

"No," I replied.

"Do zombies come out and eat the shit outta these people?" he asked.

"No," I answered.

"God, you're so lame, Cena," Randy retorted.

_But he didn't ask me to turn it off._


	3. Chapter 3

3:

_I dreamed that I was walking through my house, but it was much bigger and appeared to have thousands of rooms in endless order. It was the middle of the night and everything was dark except for certain doors lit up by some unknown source. I seemed to know exactly where I was going, despite not being able to see well. I even knew what was on the other side of some of the doors without having to open them._

_I reached a bright blue door at the end of one of the hallways. I stood outside of it, knowing that Liz was on the other side waiting for me. She wanted to have sex, and although I didn't want to, I knew I had no choice. She had figured out that I was in love with Randy, and even though we had never actually touched each other on the job, she could spin a story for McMahon and have both Randy and I fired for sexual misconduct._

_The brass knob of the door felt heavy in my hand as I turned it to open. The sound of another woman moaning in a different room suddenly made me look away. I saw a red door just a few feet down the hallway and made my way towards it. There was a light coming through the bottom of the door and I knew someone was inside. Curiosity got the best of me as I anticipated what could possibly be giving her so much pleasure._

_When I reached for the knob, it was very difficult to turn. The door itself felt jammed, like it didn't want to let me enter. I used as much of my strength as I could, but it took an astonishing amount of effort to finally get the door to burst open._

_I stepped inside and immediately saw a couple having sex on a king-sized bed in the center of the otherwise empty room. They were mostly covered by a crimson colored duvet, but I recognized Randy on top because of his back tattoo. He didn't notice I had come in and continued to thrust his hips while the woman underneath him let out soft, low moans of deep pleasure. I didn't have to see her to know it was Samantha. I felt no sense of shame as I made my way closer to the bed and craned my neck to watch them._

_She turned her head to face me and I realized it was not Samantha underneath Randy. It was Nikki Bella, and she was lying on her stomach while Randy took her from behind. I felt a strong sense of anger as my groin lit up with arousal and I shouted at them both, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"_

_Randy turned at an angle so he could continue thrusting into Nikki while he looked me in the eyes and argued, "I thought this was what you wanted!"_

"_I don't want you with her! I want you with me!" I yelled._

_Randy stopped and pulled out of Nikki so she could sit up on her knees and face me. Her body was amazing, but I only gazed at her for a second before my eyes drifted to Randy's body. He was sweating and his erection was still going strong; the mere sight of it had me on the verge of climax._

"_Come to bed and take us both," Nikki beckoned me to join them._

_My eyes moved to Nikki and then back to Randy as I confessed, "I only want him."_

"_What do you want, John?" Randy asked with a mischevious grin._

"_You, Randy. I only want you," I told him._

The words echoed in my mind as I opened my eyes to survey my surroundings. There was something heavy on my abs and it took me a few seconds to realize that Randy was still in bed with me.

_Oh, shit._

The dream had given me a raging morning erection, and Randy's lips were only a few inches from it as he lain still naked and resting over my middle.

"Randy?" I whispered to wake him.

"I'm already up," he stated, his words tinged with anger.

I couldn't understand why he was still lying over me and so close to my erection if he were already awake. I asked him thickly, "You want to get up, first?"

He ignored my question and asked one of his own, "You like playing games with me, don't you?"

"What?" I asked in shock.

He sat up on his elbows and turned to face me. His eyes were narrowed and I knew he was in Viper Mode as he told me darkly, "You were talking in your sleep. You said you wanted me, and I'm guessing from the size of your dick right now that it wasn't for a tag-team match."

_He knows. Oh God, he knows._

"I...I don't know what to say," I mumbled.

"Don't say you love me, John Cena. Don't ever fucking say that," he warned me.

I blinked with surprise and replied softly, "You just lost your wife and your daughter. Even if you wanted to do something about it, I don't expect anything from you right now."

He turned his head slightly to one side while he processed my words. He stared at me for almost a minute before he asked, "You think I want to do something about it?"

Surprise turned to a sense of rejection as I shook my head and answered, "If you don't feel the same way I do, then just say it and I'll back off."

Randy clenched his jaw and I was sure he was about to punch me in the face. I was caught by complete surprise when he suddenly lurched forward and wrapped his lips over mine.

The kiss was rough. We had just woken up, so neither of us had the best breath, but that didn't seem to matter as Randy reached around to grab ahold of the back of my neck so he could take control of the kiss and explore my mouth with his tongue. It didn't feel like something sensual, and it didn't feel like he was trying to tell me that he wanted me the way I wanted him. It was like the kind of kiss you fantasize about giving someone you hate whom you still find sexually attractive and wonder what it's like to fuck their brains out.

Randy straddled me while our lips were still mashed together and reached down with his free hand to take hold of my erection. I was already so aroused from the dream and being this close to living my fantasy with Randy gave me almost no time to enjoy the moment before I was sent over the edge. The orgasm ripped through my body and I let out a deep groan into Randy's mouth. He swallowed it down along with some of my saliva and broke away from me so quickly, I hardly had time to process what was happening as Randy crawled out of bed and walked out of the room.

"Randy? Randy, wait!" I shouted, getting up to go after him.

I went to his room, but he wasn't there. I was still on the top floor looking for him when I heard the front door slam. I rushed downstairs and opened the door, nearly crashing into Nikki as I ran out to find Randy.

She stumbled backwards and I caught her before she hit the ground. I stood her upright and glanced around for Randy, but he was already long gone. Nikki looked up at me and said sarcastically, "Do you always greet the ladies like this, or are you just happy to see me?"

I quickly composed myself and gave her a short smile as I replied, "I didn't know you were coming."

"I sent you like, dozens of texts, John! Check your phone once in a while," Nikki scolded me as she walked past me and into the house.

I glanced around one more time, but there was still no sign of Randy. He was naked when he was in bed with me, so I assumed he had grabbed some clothes and ran off.

_He would've grabbed some clothes...right?_

At this point, I wasn't sure Randy wouldn't go on a naked jog through the neighborhood.

"Get in here, John! You look like you need to shower and the camera crew will be here in twenty minutes!" Nikki called to me from inside the house.

I forced myself to push down my feelings about Randy for the time being.

_He's a big boy, John. He can take care of himself._

But if he ran away because he regretted what we just did, he may not be trying to take care of himself.


	4. Chapter 4

4:

Several days went by.

I didn't see or hear from Randy, even as I went in for surgery on my arm. I was sent home with a bill of good health and I was expected to make a full recovery.

_I wish Randy could've been there so I could tell him that._

He came back late on night. I knew it was Randy because he made no effort to keep quiet as he barreled into the house, practically stomped his way up the stairs, and stumbled all the way to his room, hitting the wall several times in the process.

_Was he seriously drunk, again?_

I thought about not getting up at all, but curiosity got the best of me and I wanted to make sure he didn't have another broken nose or something worse. I made my way slowly to his room and stood in the door frame as I tried to see inside. He hadn't turned on the lights and it was hard to see if he were actually in there. I heard his voice carry through the darkness, "Aren't you going to ask where I've been?"

He sounded sarcastic. Biting, even. I wasn't going to stand there and play games. I replied just as gruffly, "I'm not your keeper."

He didn't respond, so I added before taking my leave, "My surgery went fine, by the way. I think you're pretending like you don't care even when you actually do. You're wasting your life away with this shit, and when you're ready to get some serious help, I'll be there for you."

I didn't bother to hear his response. I just started back to my room, but I only got a few steps when something made me stop short.

_Intuition? A gut instinct? _I wasn't sure, but something told me to turn back and check on Randy, again.

"John," I heard him whisper as soon as I came back to the room, and I knew from the sound of his voice that something was terribly wrong.

"Randy? Randy!" I hit the lights and rushed to his side.

He was passed out. _No, he wasn't breathing._ I used the emergency response skills I'd learned over the years and repositioned him on the floor. I called emergency and waited for the EMTs to arrive while I tried to revive Randy with CPR. At some point, I got him breathing, again.

_Thank God. I'd almost lost him._

* * *

"Will he be alright?" Vince asked over the phone while I stayed in the waiting room.

"I think so, but I'm still waiting on the doctor to give me some good news," I sighed.

"You're the only one who can get through to him, John. Do your best to get him out of this funk, or he won't have a job to come back to," Vince stated.

"Yes, sir, I will do everything I can to set him back on-track," I told him.

"Good-bye, John. Good luck," Vince said.

"Bye, Vince," I hung up and closed my eyes to take a minute and change focus.

A part of me felt responsible for this. Randy may have been pushed too far after discovering the truth about my feelings for him. Why did I have to make it known to him, now? I could've picked a much better time and possibly saved him from his own damage.

"You're truly a fool for love, John Cena," I murmured.

"Excuse me," a nothing-like-Vickie voice said softly.

I opened my eyes and looked up to see the young doctor standing before me. I had no idea how long he had been there, but he didn't seem judgmental as he smiled warmly and mentioned, "I just want you to know, I'm a big fan of your work, Mr. Cena."

He reached out to shake my hand and I stood up to take his. "Thanks, I appreciate it," I remarked.

Glancing down at his chart, the doctor reported, "Randy appears to have a case of acute anemia."

I was blown away. Randy was one of the healthiest looking people I knew. The doctor narrowed his eyes as he looked over the chart like he wasn't completely sure the report was correct, so I asked, "Are you sure?"

His blue eyes met mine as he explained, "I was just as surprised by his test results. Randy appears to be very physically fit and I understand that wrestlers have a strict diet plan."

I nodded and he continued, "Anemia is usually a chronic and long-term condition, though in Randy's case, it appears that this is the first time he's suffered from anemia and the onset took very little time. You said that he recently suffered a debilitating loss?"

"Yes, his wife and daughter were killed in a car accident," I replied.

The doctor made a short nod and went on, "We could be dealing with a psychosomatic issue, or a case when the mind is unable to process trauma, and so phantom illness develops in the body with no prior history. Although there is no medical cause, psychosomatic illness is very real to the person experiencing it and intensive therapy is recommended."

I knew Randy wouldn't go for that, especially with our wrestling schedule. The doctor added when he saw my disdain, "Scheduling for this kind of therapy is flexible, but it is very intense and Randy would have to want to recover to experience full remission of his symptoms."

"Have you talked to him about this?" I asked.

The doctor nodded but mentioned, "He will probably be more willing to get into treatment if someone he knows recommends it."

"I will definitely encourage him. Can I see him, now?" I hoped.

"Yes, by all means," he motioned for me to follow him.

The doctor took me to Randy's room and said a quick good-bye so that I could talk to Randy, alone. As soon as I entered, the atmosphere around me changed and I felt a heaviness in the room. Randy was awake but kept his eyes on the floor. His expression told me that he was waiting for me to launch into him for getting this close to death.

He never looked more like a child in need of comfort as he did to me, now.

"You did a bad thing, Randy," I said with as much calm as possible.

"Yeah, and now I've got anemia. I got too drunk and didn't eat like I was supposed to," he sounded self-debreciating.

"No, I mean you did something much worse," I wanted him to acknowledge that he needed professional help.

He looked up at me and his eyes were like stone as he stated, "You're right. I did something worse."

I made my way towards him and waited for him to elaborate, but Randy's eyes went down to the floor again and he made no attempt to carry on.

"Did you kill someone?" I asked half-seriously as I stood next to his bedside.

He glanced up, and I was surprised to see guilt in his eyes. His voice was thick as he told me, "No, _he_ killed _me_."

I was suddenly struck with the realization that he was probably using a metaphor. I asked him outright, my voice cracking as I did so, "Did you sleep with another man because you found out how I felt about you?"

His eyes stayed with mine as he confessed, "I love you, John Cena."

He didn't exactly answer my question. I shrugged and told him, "You have a funny way of showing it."

"I mean it, John. I didn't know how to tell you-" he started.

I put my hand up to stop him and remarked, "Look, I think you're hopped up on meds and you don't know what you're saying. I'll go home so we can both get a few hours of sleep before I come back to pick you up."

"I love my wife and daughter; I didn't know how to tell you I felt the same..." he rambled.

"Get some sleep, Randy," I put my hand on his shoulder and found his skin oddly cold.

I turned to leave, but Randy grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me into him. He mashed his lips against mine and kissed me so passionately, it took the breath right out of me. He didn't let go for almost a minute. I stared at him when we parted and asked, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

He was completely serious as he told me, "I saw Sam and Alanna on the other side when I stopped breathing. I was dead, John, and I was reunited with them for a short time."

My eyes widened as he continued, "They're fine, they're both happy and safe, but I was so desperate to see them that I made a mistake—a huge mistake—and I'm not sure I'll ever see them, again."

"What did you do?" I whispered.

He slowly shook his head and said, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."


End file.
